My pregnancy story

It has been a little over a year now since I found out I was pregnant with Xaiver and I was thinking back to when I found out I was pregnant! :) I don't know if I have ever told my story. This may be very long but I want to share it.

I found out I was pregnant in January 2011 and sadly lost that baby at 9 weeks in February 2011. I have never been so devastated in my life. When I would hear of other people that had a miscarriage I would think oh that's sad, but at least they weren't that far along. I don't know I guess I thought it didn't hurt as bad if you weren't that far along. Not the case at all.

My birthday was March 25th. I had been on my period for 5 days and my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday I said I just want another baby. With the baby I lost I really wanted a girl. But after losing that baby I didn't care boy or girl. I just wanted a baby. I started temping and charting and took a test 8 DPO it was the faintest line I have ever seen. I had to hold it a certain way. I decided I wasn't going to tell ANYONE until I was out of my first trimester. Each test I took looked that way for about a week and then I started spotting. I thought I was having a chemical pregnancy. I called my husband and told him I didn't want anymore kids because I couldn't go through this again, and told him I had another miscarriage. I waited and waited for my period to come and nothing...I took another test and it was without a doubt postive. I was so excited and scared at the same time. I started getting morning sickness at 5 weeks. Trying to hide the fact you are throwing up every 5 minutes is very difficult! Finally at 8 weeks I decided to tell my husband.
We called the baby we lost Cupcake. I was cooking dinner one night and decided to tell him. I still had some stuff left that I had bought for Cupcake. I set all that on the counter and wrote him a note that said "Our Cupcake could not stay, but we will have a Little Muffin on Christmas Day!!!" I went back to our bedroom and yelled out to him to please but the rice in the pot. The stuff was sitting right in front of the cabinet so I thought for sure he would see it when he went to get the rice out. I hear all this fumbling around and then he says "Where is the rice" I was like really!!! He doesn't see the stuff?! then it got very quiet and he said "So the rice was a set up?" He was so happy! I then begged him not to tell ANYONE until I was out of the first trimester. We went to the doctor and had the NT scan at 13 weeks 5 days and after hearing everything looked perfect his sister was the first person we told.

I then spent the remainder of my pregnany scared to death he was going to be stillborn. I rented a fetal doppler the day I had my first ultrasound at 8w 5d. I used it 3-4 times a day until I could feel him kicking consistantly. Then I would do kick counts all day long. Right at the very end of my pregnancy he gave me a big scare. I hadn't felt him move in about 6-8 hours and I kept trying to lay down and drink something cold to get him moving. But I couldn't calm down because I was trying everything to get him to move. Usually when I would push on my stomach he would move around but not this time. I trying crying and couldn't be still. Derrick was telling me I needed to go to the ER but I didn't want to go because I didn't want them to tell me he was gone. I agreed to go it was about 2am. When they put me on the monitor and I heard that heartbeat it was the best sound ever.

I wouldn't pack his bag, wash his clothes or, take anything out of boxes. The night before my c-section I finally did but not before I did one more kick count. When we got to the hospital that morning and they hooked me up to the monitors I was so happy to hear that sound again. She turned it down and I asked her to turn it back up. Because as long as at could hear it I knew he was ok. I was freaking out inside when they took me off to go get him out. And the whole time they were doing to c-section I just kept saying Jesus over and over and over again. When he came out screaming I finally felt relieved.

I am so happy that he is here, happy, perfect and amazing. I can't imagine life without him. He has compelted our family and I am so greatful for him!